Lina Needs Help
by Anaka Deto
Summary: Knock out potions, completely off the wall yaoi hints that honestly don't go anywhere, and ...LINA NEEDS HELP?


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Anaka Lyn   
December 6, 2003

  
Disclaimer: No I do not own Slayers so don't kill me about it! Even though I doubt anybody here really gives a damn… Oh yes…the Japanese creators go online to read horribly written fan fictions just so they can sue the creator that probably is not even old enough to sue and wasn't stupid enough to put anything really telling where to find them on the fan fiction….. Yuppers that's what they are doing!  
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Lina needs help?!

  
Lina: Who the hell is writing this? Why would I, Lina Inverse, the beautiful sorceress need help? 

Anaka: Listen! My fanfic and I shall write as I wish! You're opinion here is NOT WANTED!  
Lina: oh really?! …..well…..*chants Dragu Slave spell*  
Anaka: hehe…..*xell smile* now now Lina-chan… do that and I will use my superior author powers to make you …um…Fall in love with Xelloss! *muhahahahaha*  
Lina: *horrified look* okay …I'll cooperate.  
Anaka: good Lina! *gets back to writing fic*  
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Zelgadis, Amelia, Lina *sticks tongue out at her*, Xelloss, Filia, and Gourry are in a restaurant *who would have thought?* and Lina and Gourry are pigging out *once again*   
Zel: Can we just move on?  
Anaka: *fireballs Zel* SHUT UP!  
Zel: *does so*  
……as I was…it's a year or 2 after the Dark Star battle and the only reason they all are comfortably here is because Amelia decided she wanted a group reunion…and the only reason people came was Xelloss wanted to pick on everyone (especially Filia), Filia is just thought it civilized to see her old friends (except Xelloss), Lina and Gourry enjoyed the prospect of free food, and well…I don't know why Zel is here…so lets commense!  
Zel: I don't see why I'm here either, maybe I should just leave  
Xelloss: ^_^ Why leave, Zel-kun? Wouldn't you rather spend today with all your friends?  
Zel: Since it involves you……no  
Amelia: Please Mr. Zelgadis! We really would like you to stay and catch up on things with us!  
Xelloss: Oh yes… On the topic of Zel… I have a friend who says she knows the cure to chimera.  
Zel: *begins being interested* Oh really? What's the catch?  
Xelloss: No catch, you just have to kill someone…it's a simple task for you.  
Amelia: Mr. Xelloss that is very unjust! Killing is a very unjust crime that I can not allow!  
Zel: *ignores her* can't you do it yourself?  
Xelloss: sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^  
Zel: ….who is it?  
Xelloss: sore wa..  
Zel: *cuts him off* FORGET IT!  
Lina and Gourry finish consuming all the food in the restaurant. The waiter and cook appear and give the two a bill that says the total is $5,252.52 which obviously is too much for them to pay.   
Lina: Xelloss gets the check!  
Xelloss: Me? I didn't even eat!  
Lina: You can afford to pay.  
Xelloss: *looks at the check* ….*sweat drop* no I can't! I don't carry that much money on me.  
Lina; Yes you can!   
Waiter: *French accent* whoz going to pay zat bill? I've no time for zis!   
Gourry: why does author-san use so many z's there?  
Lina: because the man is French  
Gourry: Like toast?  
Lina: *sweat drop* yes Gourry…Like toast…  
Zel: does he get stupider every moment?  
Xelloss: I just want to know if Lina really knows what France is.  
Gourry: It's French not France  
Xelloss: French people come from France  
Gourry: so he's a French people and not French toast?  
Xelloss: French people are dirty idiots…just like you!  
Anaka: just a safety. I love French things so don't flame me for that if you are French *hehe* and yes…I am a fat-ass American with nothing to really do with my time but write stupid fan fiction that no one will probably read!  
Zel: must we continue this?  
Anaka: you've annoyed me one too many times, Zel *evil smirk* I shall now use my author powers to do this!  
Amelia: Oh Mr. Zelgadis I love you! I love you! *glomps Zel*  
Zel: THE HORROR!  
Waiter: zis is beginning to annoy me! I tink it is time for you to pay!  
Lina: Author-san can you do something about this?  
Anaka: oh fine! *makes the bill only 52 cents*  
Xelloss: anyone else notice the 52 pattern?  
Anaka: shhhhh!!  
Lina: wasn't I supposed to need help?  
Anaka: You did need help!  
Lina: help with what?  
Anaka: 1. The bill 2. …why have I not given Filia any lines?  
Xelloss: *hides something behind his back*   
Anaka: what is that?  
Zel: *sceams* SOMEONE GET HER OFF OF ME!  
Amelia: Oh Mr. Zelgadiss you know you like it! *glomps him more*  
Zel: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Anaka: nope..that's what you get for messing with me!  
Lina: Xell! Pay the waiter the 52 cents  
Xelloss: I don't have any money  
Gourry: what's Xell got behind his back?  
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu  
Lina; I don't know but I bet it has to do with Filia being knocked out in her tea  
Gourry: should we lift up her head?  
Lina: oh yeah..you're right *thinks: guess he has some brains afterall* …..*tries to wake Filia up*  
Filia: *doesn't move*  
Anaka: *whispers something to Gourry who begins screaming and runs at Xell and ….glomps him?*…okayy….that wasn't what I expected  
Lina: GOURRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  
Anaka: this one….isn't my fault…all I said was run at Xell and get the bottle of knock-out potion he used on Filia from behind him….  
Gourry: ohhhhhh I thought you said "run at xell and glomp him for his bottle"  
Anaka: shhhh! I was trying NOT to have looked like I said that!  
Lina: *sweat drop* okay Author-san you are scaring me now…  
Zel: *fireballs Amelia and gets her off of him* …….ahhh….why did you do that?!  
Anaka: because it is within my power  
Zel: *mumbles* I hate fanfic writers and rabid fan girls that put us through this other than Xell they can put him through whatever they want  
Xelloss: ..thanks I love you too. Gourry you can stop now. ^_^  
Gourry: oh yeah! *stops glomping Xell*  
Anaka: what exactly does glomp mean? I don't think anyone knows…we just use it … okay well…lets continue!  
Xelloss: must we Anaka-san? The point of the story is over. Lina doesn't need help anymore.  
Anaka: *looks at the unconscious Ryuzoku* okay…sure… I don't want to be around when she wakes up anyways  
Xelloss: good point!  
Lina: I agree *runs out of the restaurant*  
Waiter: WAIT! YOU GET BACK HERE ZIS INSTANT LINA INVERSE! I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ZIS! I MUST BE PAID!  
Anaka: *makes the waiter spontaneously combust*   
Xelloss: I like your style, Author-san  
Anaka: *evil laugh*  
Zel: *runs far, far away*  
Amelia: Wait for me Mr. Zelgadis *runs after him*  
Xelloss: *draws a particular male body part on Filia's face with a purple permanent Sharpie and teleports away*  
Anaka: um…*removes Filia's head from her tea and decides now is a good time to end the fic*  
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I don't know about you but I'm not messing with a girl that likes to swing a mace! Okay so this is my"Unjust" and completely off the wall Fanfic that makes no sense. Bye! Please you no review!


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